This was originally for a 100-word story contest. I only just remembered it existed and figured it should live here...
"Captain Gecko reporting as ordered!" the middle-age, bedraggled officer said as he reported in. Colonel Layout returned his salute and gave his subordinate a quick glance. After years of Web Wars Gecko was still a solid soldier; frayed around the edges, but still solid.
"Gecko," the colonel started. "This damned campaign has flipped over to quirks mode and reports are the border: just turned red. General staff fears it'll be dotted with holes after the next event loop"
"Gecko, you have a right to know. Franky, we have reports..."
The rest was lost in the scream of a page reload.